Trois mois et demi?!

This evening our lovely directrice Marie-Madeleine hosted an apéro where she discussed with us the impending end of our time in Paris – a mere three and a half months away! – and how we should go about making the best of this time so that we leave here sans regret. It’s the kind of thing that I take to heart, so the meeting evoked in me both a deep sadness and a thorough determination to finish the year strong.

Marie-Madeleine asked the group why we came to France and set out about making sure that we have – or at least will have before we leave – accomplished those goals. Although I remained silent at the meeting, I have decided to return to my JYA application essay to verify my true espoirs [hopes] and begin going about making them happen.

In the next few weeks to come, I will be making, as Marie-Madeleine suggested, a list of all the things I want to accomplish between now and May. It will be excessive. It will be random. But, I can do it and I should. For all its wonders and all its faults, I’ve loved Paris so much up until this point, and I just want to make absolutely certain that I have done and discovered all that I can and all that I have dreamed of while here.

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Pour ceux qui lisent le français et qui s’y intéressent, voilà mon « essai d’application » (ignorez les fautes de grammaire, svp) :

Depuis que j’ai visité Paris pendant une semaine il y a deux ans, j’ai été sûre que j’y retournerais. Au cours de ma visite, j’ai découvert qu’à Paris, les choses historiques (des musées, l’architecture classique, son histoire riche) et les choses vivantes et modernes (la mode, les jeunes, la politique, l’art moderne) se mélangent ; ce mélange me plaît beaucoup. J’ai besoin de retourner à cette ville pour explorer davantage ce mélange qui fait le cœur de Paris. En même temps, j’améliorai mon français, j’approfondirai ma compréhension de la littérature et je gagnerai une assurance.

En étudiant une année à Paris, j’améliorai énormément mon français. Pour faire mes études françaises, c’est important que mes capacités de parler égalent mes talents de lire et d’écrire. Cependant, je manque de confiance en mes paroles. Dans ce milieu francophone où il faut que je parle français, je ne peux pas rester timide. Peu à peu, j’aurai confiance en tous mes mérites de la langue française.

J’ai choisi d’abord d’apprendre français parce que j’aimais bien cette belle langue historique. La langue rend tangible ce que c’est que d’être français. Comme son cinéma, son théâtre et sa littérature, la langue est passionnée et sincère. Elle a aussi une simplicité complexe. C’est un paradoxe, mais il y a une profondeur de cette langue franche. Tous ces traits paradoxaux de la langue et de la francophonie m’intéressent beaucoup. Paris elle-même émet cette passion et les paradoxes. Elle est ancienne, mais elle est moderne. Elle est grande, mais elle donne l’impression d’être une communauté.

Ces paradoxes ainsi que l’histoire riche et littéraire de Paris m’attirent. Il est probable que Paris est le centre littéraire de France (et il est possible qu’elle se trouve au centre de toute la littérature d’Europe). Dans un cours français concernant la littérature de Paris que j’ai pris pendant ma première année, j’étudiais cette tradition littéraire de Paris qui est la ville de Zola, d’Hugo, de Flaubert et de Modiano. Paris a fasciné profondément tant d’auteurs (les Français et les expatriés des pays étrangers) que j’ai lus ou que je voudrais lire.

Comme une étudiante de la littérature comparée, je voudrais étudier en détail pourquoi Paris attire tant d’auteurs influents. Je voudrais découvrir ce dont ils s’inspirent dans cette belle ville. Pour achever ma concentration sur la littérature française, il faut que j’étudie académiquement les auteurs français, mais je souhaite aussi vivre la littérature française. Je flânerai dans les rues et je mangerai aux cafés où ces auteurs passaient leurs temps et dont ils s’inspirent. En étudiant à Paris, je comprendrai plus profondément ces romans, ces auteurs et cette histoire que j’adore.

Étudier une année à Paris exécutera certainement mes études, mais j’espère aussi devenir plus indépendante et plus assurée. Une année dans un pays étranger sans ma famille et sans mes amis sera difficile, mais comme je m’adapte, j’apprendrai ce que je peux faire moi-même. Il faut que je sois indépendante et persistante dans mes études et ma vie quotidienne à Paris.

Ce contact avec une nouvelle culture me forcera à essayer des choses que je ne fais pas d’habitude. Habiter au milieu d’une autre culture me contraindra aussi à voir le monde sous un angle différent. Grâce à ces adaptations culturelles, je gagnerai à Paris une confiance en moi que je manque maintenant. Cette expérience m’aidera à surmonter mes peurs et mes manques d’assurance pour que je puisse faire face à mon avenir en confiance.

Je comprends que Paris ne sera pas, peut-être, exactement comme mes rêves, mais je suis excitée de découvrir Paris et d’apprendre tout concernant sa langue, sa littérature, son histoire et sa culture.

Expos et promenades: Ma vie parisienne

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of what my friend Zoë so elegantly called “carping the diem.” And by that I mean leaving the comfort of my room, getting out there and doing interesting things in this lovely city. This week I’ve had a lot of “Oh yeah, I’m in PARIS” moments so here’s a brief rundown:

• Watched François Truffaut’s Les 400 Coups and spotted 17th-arrondissement landmarks.
• Explored the 20th and looked out on foggy Paris from Parc de Belleville, a vantage point 26 feet higher than Montmartre.
• Navigated around the massive Père LaChaise cemetery taking in the sullen and tranquil ambiance and gawking at the graves of: Baron Haussmann, David, Vivant Denon, Jim Morrison (stereotypical, but I kind of had to), Honoré de Balzac, Eugene Delacroix, Molière, Guillaume Apollinaire, Marcel Proust, Oscar Wilde and Edith Piaf.
• Took the bus – a lot – reading my collection of Anna Gavalda short stories all the while…oh how Parisian I have become.
• Visited Paris la Belle, an exposition on poet, screenwriter, lyricist and artist Jacques Prévert in the Hôtel de Ville.
• Browsed the Museum of modern art of the city of Paris.
• Strolled around Passy.
• Took advantage yet again of the soldes [sales] and spruced up my wardrobe more than was necessary – but when after someone asks me where I got such-and-such item I can haughtily respond “Paris,” it will all me worth it.
• Toured Balzac’s House where he lived and worked for seven years in what was then the outskirts of Paris.
• Benefitted from a fleeting sunny Parisian day by walking from my apartment across the Seine and past the Place de la Concorde to class in the 8th.
• Perused an intriguing photography exhibit at the Jeu de Paume, entitled Un regard étranger. Paris / Les Américains.
• Walked the length of the Tuilleries.
• Visited the Palais Royal and peered through the multicolored glass panes which give a look through the construction barriers onto the restoration of Daniel Buren’s Les Deux Plateaux installation.
• And I finished my sunny Friday afternoon reading peacefully in the Louvre.

Bienvenue chez les profs

Sunday, I was invited to lunch chez [at the place of] two of my favorite Smith professors. I have had the pleasure of working with and taking classes taught by my advisor Nicolas as well as his wife Fabienne, both French profs at Smith. Although they work in Northampton, they have an adorable, sixth-floor apartment in the 18e à Paris, where they spend their breaks and summers. They had always insisted that we meet up while they were in Paris, and Fabienne kindly invited me to lunch. I was a bit nervous about the encounter. When you consider my lack of people skills and their endearingly awkward comportments, I knew we were in for a show.

It was actually less awkward than anticipated, and I had a lot of fun. They are so sweet and encouraging and were very excited to hear any and everything that I had to say about Paris. We had a lovely French lunch of saucisse [sausage], lentils and potatoes, made complete with a bit of wine. Tea and treats followed.

After lunch, Nicolas had some work to tend to, but Fabienne and I took a lovely walk around the quartier [neighborhood]. I am always thrilled to discover new corners of Paris, and this thriving, diverse neighborhood was a great place to explore. En outre [In addition], Fabienne showed me the surprising traces of littérature and history in her own backyard. We stopped at the apartment building where – as Patrick Modiano learned – Dora Bruder had lived and headed past the commissariat [police station] where her parents had posted a notice in search of her. Later, we came upon the one massive entryway that remains from the luxurious 19th-centurey department store that served as the basis for Emile Zola’s Au Bonheur des dames.

It is that capacity for histories of so many eras to overlap, cross and dialogue on the present-day streets of Paris that I love so much about the city. And these traces exist in n’importe quel [any] quartier. From the Lutécien amphitheater to the remnants of Philippe Auguste’s city walls to the Boulevards of Haussmann and the traces of the Occupation, it’s all here. Two-thousand years of history surimposés [overlapping] on one moderne ville [modern city], and what a lovely ville it is.

Overall, I was very pleased to have spent the afternoon with Fabienne and Nicolas. Seeing their love and passion for Paris made me rethink my own attitudes. Am I spending my time here wisely? Am I living the Parisian life to the fullest? Lately, there’s been a tiny part of me that has been counting down the days until I get to return to the states. I’ve idealized the moments of reconnecting with loved ones, eating at my favorite restaurants, relaxing in my own room and enjoying free soda refills. But I forget how quickly this Paris experience is passing me by. And as soon as I leave, I know I will regret it and wish that I could come back…

C’est déjà décembre?

I saw a movie Sunday that somehow captured a lot of the sentiments that I am feeling about Paris at this moment. The movie was, appropriately, entitled Paris, and I had been jonesing to see it since it came out in February.

Considering the rarity of French cinematic success aux Etats-Unis and the significant time lag usually associated with the eventual appearance of French films in the States (voir Ne le dis à personne [Tell No One] which came out in 2006 but just hit American theaters this summer), I assumed I would have to wait to see it until it eventually made it to DVD. Luckily, the film’s star, Juliette Binoche, is currently being honored with a retrospective at La Cinémathèque française. Donc, I marked the date of the film in my agenda the moment I saw it on the schedule and made sure to make it to the séance [showing].

Directed by Cédric Klapisch (L’Auberge espagnole [The Spanish Apartment]), the film featured his classic fractured visuals of city life and intimate stories of la vie quotidienne [daily life] of insecure and flawed human beings. Among a fairly small pantheon of contemporary French filmmakers, Klapisch has a style and flair that can make the occasionally difficult subject matter that he treats palatable, pleasurable and even funny.

He displayed his mastery of this craft perfectly in Paris. The film revolves around a number of tragically unlikeable Parisians with the central story focusing on a young man in need of a heart transplant – a procedure which he has only a 40 percent chance of surviving.

For me, the film touched perfectly on the fleetingness of Parisian city life. It represented all-too-accurately a number of Parisian tropes that I have encountered on a daily basis and revealed stunning panoramas of the city with the same attention to detail as the bustling city streets and open-air markets.

Likewise, Klapisch captured the contradiction of feeling lonely and isolated in such a vibrant and vivante [living] city. His characters were connected, yet distant with but the smallest details of living in the same city connecting them. So close, but so far.

Lastly, it may be somewhat infantile – meme si c’est [even if it’s] entirely natural – to attempt to apply the life lessons learned from the gravity of the situations within the film to my own severely less grave life, but the film’s ever-present (but certainly not trop [too] heavy-handed) carpe diem sentiment reminded me to make the most of my short time in this city.

The last few days I’ve been glued to my room cranking out two exposés [presentations], but now that those have both been delivered, it’s time to explore Paris anew.